The Bear, The Park Ranger and The Comic

An allegory of the U.S.-Russia Farce playing out in Ukraine.

Good Citizen

CNN Headline: June 22, 2027
Former U.S. President and Distinguished Elder Statesman Joseph R. Biden Passes Away Age 85
He was surrounded by family and friends at his beach home in Delaware. It’s being reported his last words were, ‘Get Zelensky on the phone, I need to warn him Putin will bomb Baghdad at any moment.’

Find The Lady
The information warfare on both sides of the U.S.-Russia conflict over Ukraine is reaching a comical fever pitch. It has become so difficult to keep up with the lies, hypocrisy, propaganda, official narratives, and false flag accusations to preempt and set up a different false flag that the entire misdirection farce is an exercise in keeping an eye on the cards in foreign policy’s version of find the lady.

This is not geopolitical chess but false flag musical chairs. One day the music will stop and there will be one party left alone standing, embarrassed and naked and we all have a pretty good suspicion who it will be.

[The following allegory is suitable for children of most ages for any honest teachers or parents who want to explain to them the situation in Ukraine or just U.S. foreign policy in general]

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Imagine the world is a forest and Ukraine is a campsite and not a country. It’s a campsite that has a campsite manager who represents all citizens and is their embodiment. From 2010-2014 the campsite manager was Grizzly Adams who was friendly with a bear who came to visit the campsite from time to time. This bear is of course the embodiment of Putin and all the people of Russia. The bear and Adams got along splendidly and traded things that were useful to each other. Things were good until…

Campsite Dignity
One day in 2013 the park ranger (U.S.) who believes he owns and controls the whole forest saw the bear and Adams get too friendly for his liking. The park ranger had insisted that Grizzly Adams stop associating with the bear and trading with it for fish and gas and lumber and instead become friends with a sloth (E.U.) that the park Ranger pointed to in a nearby eucalyptus tree. The Ranger said: “You will associate with the sloth and stop seeing the bear.” Grizzly Adams didn’t like this and responded, “But I have so much more in common with the bear than the sloth, including language and culture and history. The sloth moves too slow and he does whatever you tell him to do. I’d rather be friends with the bear than servants of the sloth and you. The bear is nice to me and helps me with trade, energy and finance. I have seen how you treat the campsites and animals of the forest and I like the bear better, now kindly go away!”

This made the park ranger very angry. Nobody is allowed to refuse the park ranger’s demands without consequences. When it came time to sign an agreement to join with the sloth and stop seeing the bear, Adams refused to sign it. This infuriated the park ranger who gathered a pack of wolves and snipers and George Soros to go and trash Grizzly Adams’ campsite. They torched and killed and rioted and delivered cookies to the wolves until he resigned as manager. The park ranger and his western team of foxes that manages information in the forest proclaimed this a victory for democracy and even called it a “revolution of dignity”! All the animals of the forest rejoiced and made documentaries for Netflix to celebrate this revolution while the ranger’s team of foxes fabricated tales on its favorite disinformation tree wikipravda so that all the animals and campsite managers in the forest would believe this false version of a natural revolution the park ranger wanted them to believe. The bear was not happy to lose one of his last good friends in that part of the forest.

Campsite Comic
The park ranger had a new manager waiting to assume the role of campsite manager before the campsite riots and revolution of “dignity” even finished. The ranger was smart and cunning and knew better than to pick a history or international relations professor who would know how the park ranger would treat him and instead chose a slap stick comedian. The comedian was “democratically elected” to the campsite manager position and assumed the role of managing the campsite for the park ranger. The comic promised to end corruption and graft and restore the campsite for the people but he quickly found out that none of that was possible because much of that corruption and graft was facilitated by the park ranger and even his crack smoking son.

The comic accepted his role as campsite manager and did whatever the park ranger said. This meant the comic could never be friends with the bear and only be friends with the sloth. The comic believed the ranger and thought he could eventually join the sloth’s union and park ranger’s bear-poking alliance. The comic soon found out this was all talk because the bear was more powerful than the ranger liked to admit. No student of history, the comedian became disillusioned but refused to stand up to the park ranger.

Tired of being poked and molested, the bear took back part of the campsite that always belonged to the bear anyway. In response the comic did what the park ranger said and funneled billions of dollars of weapons to the eastern side of the campsite where neo-Nazis were fighting the bear’s allies. Eventually the bear, the park ranger and the comic signed an agreement in campsite Minsk to draw ceasefire lines along the eastern edge of the comic’s campsite.

The park ranger had a long history of harassing the bear, shooting him with pellet guns and colluding with other campsites in the forest to kick the bear, mace the bear and get them to join forces with the ranger at the border of the bear’s campsite. The bear was tired of getting shot at and having his piece of the forest controlled by the park ranger who kept moving nuclear weapons closer and closer to the bear despite many promises and assurances not to.

The bear suspected the ranger wouldn’t keep the agreement signed in campsite Minsk, so he kept guard on his side of the forest and made sure the comic didn’t break the agreement. And the bear was right. The comic was at the mercy of the park ranger and for years kept funneling arms and larger and larger weapons to the comic’s neo-Nazi fighters along the cease fire trenches of the campsite who kept bombarding the bear’s allies and taking pot shots whenever they felt like it in violation of their agreement. They spent years breaking the agreement made at campsite Minsk knowing the Ranger’s foxes would never report it to the animals and managers of the forest. Like the oligarchs who really controlled the campsite on behalf of the park ranger, the comic was unable to control the ultra nationalists on the eastern front so he just did what he was told by the park ranger and took some money on the side as well.

Poke The Bear
The park ranger knew the bear had enough, because it was the ranger after all who hadn’t stopped molesting and poking the bear for thirty years. When it wasn’t outright poking the bear it was spreading lies and propaganda about the bear to paint him as an evil creature who undermines that noble thing called “democracy” that the ranger is proud of spreading throughout the forest. How does the ranger do this? The park ranger loves to go around the forest ransacking campsites and installing new campsite managers wherever he feels like and especially wherever it will anger the bear and goad him into becoming the evil thing that ranger insisted he always was. When the ranger isn’t ransacking campsites, smearing the bear or poking the bear he’s busy trying to take away fish from the bear with forest sanctions, preventing the bear from transacting with other campsites and campsite managers.

But the bear is more cunning, patient and resolute than the ranger gives him credit. He has become accustomed to the abuse and can see how obvious the ranger is with his tactics. The bear is a student of Sun Tzu. So he has let the ranger huff and puff and destroy his own domestic ranger station from within because as Sun Tzu said, “never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” While the park ranger was smearing his own democratically elected campsite manager and trying to blame the bear for colluding with him, the bear was busy hoarding gold and developing hyper advanced weapons. While the park ranger was purging ranks of the toxically masculine to appoint special animals of the forest to positions of ranger station power based on their perceived oppression, the bear found a friend on the far side of the forest who also had become tired of the park ranger harassing him near his campsite.

Forest Dragon
The forest dragon and the bear have a lot in common, especially the park ranger as a pestering nuisance and goading bully. Now, the forest dragon isn’t the best campsite manager, he is actually one of the worst, but he has a big campsite and has been taking the same tactic as the bear for decades. The dragon has watched patiently as the park ranger has self destructed year and year with bad decisions, wasted money and campsite bullying tactics that always come back to bite the ranger in the butt. The forest dragon has seen an opening in making friends with as many campsites as possible with loans and grants to help them improve their parts of the forest. The ranger has ignored this by being so focused on harassing the bear that the dragon now controls as much or more of the forest as the park ranger, probably even many parts of the park ranger station itself without even the ranger knowing.

The bear sees how cunning and patient the dragon is and has been petting its scaled tale ever since to make him happy. The bear and dragon recently went to the Olympics together to show the forest that the park ranger who has spent eighty years bullying the animals and campsites of the forest is really not as powerful as he thinks he is anymore and most of the campsites and animals secretly laugh at him.

Throwing Fish At the Comic
The park ranger is no dummy. He senses that things aren’t going to end well with the dragon and the bear joining forces on the other side of the forest. So the ranger has recruited his three lion friends (U.K.) to help him poke the bear more. The three lions are not as fierce as they used to be and are more like puppets of the park ranger.

Incapable of taking its eyes off the bear for longer than a second the park ranger and three lion friends have become obsessed with finally turning the bear into the roaring evil menace they know it really is and have promised the whole forest will finally one day become, thereby revealing its true evil nature.

But the bear won’t turn evil and won’t roar, so the ranger is getting really desperate. And when desperate bullies get impatient and impulsive they do crazy things. A few months ago they started throwing the bear’s favorite fish, pacific salmon, into the Comic’s campsite and telling the bear to attack the comic. For months the bear has refused. But the ranger won’t stop. He keeps secretly throwing the bears favorite fish into the comic’s campsite while telling the whole forest the mean evil bear will attack at any moment. The comic has finally learned a valuable history lesson. No campsite manager can ever be friends with the park ranger and not pay a very high price for it. The comic doesn’t like the park ranger provoking the bear to attack his campsite, so the park ranger calls the comic and says, “Sorry about the alliance with sloth not working out, too bad. And too bad you can’t join the bear-poking ranger alliance either but you’re still useful to us. The bear is coming but don’t worry we’re sending billions in weapons to defend from the bear who is certain to attack you at any moment and we won’t stop poking the bear for you, we promise.”

The comic responds, “But I don’t think you’re right. Things are pretty normal here and we don’t think the bear will attack, and maybe you should stop saying it will happen every day as if you really want the bear to attack our campsite!”

The park ranger isn’t having it, “Our intelligence is flawless. The foxes of the forest are just reporting our intelligence so shut up and take the weapons, goad the bear, and be prepared for an attack at any moment. We’re so certain the bear will attack we’re telling all animals of the forest to leave your campsite immediately. We’re secretly throwing more fish into your campsite so be ready.”

The comic is confused by the foxes of the forest announcing that they have intelligence that the bear will attack the comic’s campsite at any moment. Their intelligence is so certain they set a date for Wednesday, February 16, 2022 as the exact time the bear will attack the comic’s campsite. The comic is not an astute scholar of park ranger history so he’s learning a lot in real time.

The Park Ranger’s Lust For War
The ranger knows that if the bear attacks he can yell throughout the forest “SEE, I told you the bear was evil and that he would attack because he hates democracy!” And if the bear doesn’t attack the park ranger will yell, “See, all those billions of dollars in weapons to the comic worked! We protected his campsite and democracy and scared the bear away!” Either way the bully of the forest can claim victory. The bear knows how silly this makes the park ranger look to all the campsites and and all the animals of the forest. The bear and dragon are dining on fine pacific salmon at the dragon’s campsite laughing at the park ranger along with most of the forest.

Not all campsites are laughing because the park ranger owns them, so they have to take their animals out of the comic’s campsite to pretend there is danger there like the ranger wants. A lot of campsites will do whatever the park ranger says even if they look silly.

The park ranger lacks self awareness so he keeps poking the bear, ignoring the dragon, lying to the comic and throwing fish into the comic’s campsite to get the bear to attack. And maybe the bear will attack the comic’s campsite, but probably not. He knows he doesn’t need to in order to weaken the park ranger and his three lion friends. He just needs to pretend like he could at any moment.

The park ranger will keep throwing bigger and bigger fish into the comic’s campsite and probably attack the comic himself and try and make it look like the bear did it so that the comic recklessly attacks the bear back and then the park ranger will finally get his war with the bear that he thinks will help him keep control over the forest but will force all the campsites, including the sloth to run to the dragon and the bear for resources and energy that the park ranger and the useless comic cannot provide.

The End.

Until the big attack tomorrow.

Source: The Good Citizen