The Post-Partisan Emporium

  Invasion of the Mechanical Turks How a notorious automaton foreshadowed the collapse of empirical science CHRIS BATEMAN “You tell me you can predict the world of 2100. Tell me it’s even worth thinking about. Our models just carry the present into the future. They’re bound to be wrong. Everybody who gives a moment’s thought knows it.” - Michael Crichton In 1770, Wolfgang von Kempelen unveiled his wonderous automaton, later dubbed ‘the Mechanical Turk’. A wooden man stood behind a cabinet upon which sat a chessboard. Kempelen showed the audience the elaborate mechanical gears controlling the movements of the mannikin, styled after an Ottoman magician. To the delight of the Hungarian monarch, Empress Maria Theresa, the device mechanically moved the chess pieces in response to a human player taking their turn at the board - and frequently defeated them! In 1783 at an exhibition in Paris, it beat Benjamin Franklin much to his astonishment, and although a Parisian grandmaster was able to s

  We're All Bags of Bitchy, Demanding Enzymes and that's okay. Don't overthink it. ALEX WASHBURNE My mom was a molecular biology professor and I was something of a delinquent skateboarding child on the school-to-prison pipeline. During my occasional bouts of suspension, I would go to my mom’s office for the day. Sometimes she’d put me to work cleaning glassware, other times I’d be plating yeast or counting cells on a hemocytometer to think about what I’d done. Occasionally, I’d be free to roam the department and, every time I was free, I went straight to Eric Toolson’s office. Eric Toolson is a legend in my mind. He is biology professor who looks and talks more like a Hells Angel. With long grey hair, sophisticated glasses and imposing facial hair, Eric would drive a Harley Davidson to work, occasionally swear like a sailor, but think and talk like philosopher. When the glassware was cleaned, the yeast plated, and the cells counted, I would roll up to Eric’s office with my