Monkeypoxmania
Monkeypoxmania
Lock yourselves down inside your homes! Break out the masks and prophylactic face-shields! Switch off whatās left of your critical faculties and prepare yourselves to āfollow the Science!ā
Yes, thatās right, just as the survivors of The Simulated Apocalyptic Plague of 2020-2021 were crawling up out of their Covid bunkers and starting to ābuild the world back better,ā another biblical pestilence has apparently been unleashed on humanity!
This time itās the dreaded monkeypox, a viral zoonotic disease endemic to central and western Africa that circulates among giant pouched rats, squirrels, dormice, and other rodents and has been infecting humans for centuries, or millennia. Monkeypox causes fever, headaches, muscle aches, and sometimes fluid-filled blisters, tends to resolve in two to four weeks, and thus poses absolutely zero threat to human civilization generally.
The corporate media do not want to alarm us, but it is their duty as professional journalists to report that THE MONKEYPOX IS SPREADING LIKE WILDFIRE! OVER 100 CASES OF MONKEYPOX have been confirmed in countries throughout the world! MONKEYPOX TASKFORCES are being convened! Close-up photos of NASTY-LOOKING MONKEYPOX LESIONS are being disseminated! The President of the United States says āEVERYBODY SHOULD BE CONCERNED!ā
The WHO is calling it āa multi-country monkeypox outbreak!ā Belgium has introduced a mandatory quarantine. The CDC has gone to āAlert Level 2!ā āEnhanced precautionsā are recommended! In New York City, the nexus of probably the most paranoid, mask-wearing, quadruple-āvaccinatedā New Normal fanatics on the face of the planet, the Department of Health is instructing everyone to wear the masks they are already wearing to protect them from both Covid and monkeypox, and smallpox, and largepox, and airborne cancer, and God knows what other horrors might be out there!
Here in the capital of New Normal Germany, Karl Lauterbach, who, despite wasting hundreds of millions of Euros on superfluous āvaccines,ā attempting to compulsorily āvaccinateā every man, woman, and child in the country, and otherwise behaving like a fascist lunatic, remains the official Minister of Health, is excitedly hopping up and down and hooting like a Siamang gibbon about ārecommendations for isolation and quarantine,ā and other āmonkeypox containment measures.ā
As Yogi Berra famously put it, āitās like dĆ©jĆ vu all over again.ā
Except that it isnāt ⦠or it probably isnāt. Before I could even finish this column, the United GloboCap Ministries of Truth started dialing down the monkeypox panic. It appears theyāre going with āitās a gay pandemic,ā or an āLGBTQ pandemic,ā or an āLGBTQIA+ pandemic,ā or whatever the official acronym is by the time I click the āpublishā button, and making other noises to the effect that it might not be absolutely necessary this time to order a full-scale global lockdown, release the drones and robotic dogs, inject everybody with experimental drugs, and start viciously persecuting āmonkeypox deniers.ā
You didnāt really believe they were launching a shot-by-shot remake of Covid, did you? The showrunners at GloboCap may be preternaturally evil, but they arenāt stupid. Only the most hopelessly brainwashed New Normals would go along with another āapocalyptic pandemicā before the current one has even been officially cancelled. No, unfortunately, odds are, weāre just getting a preview of what ālifeā is going to be like in the New Normal Reich, where the masses will be perpetually menaced by an inexhaustible assortment of exotic pathogens and interchangeable pseudo-pathological threats.
The New Normal was never about Covid specifically. It was always about implementing a new ārealityā ā a pathologized-totalitarian āreality,ā not so much ruled as discreetly āguidedā by unaccountable, supranational, non-governmental governing entities, global corporations, and assorted billionaires ā in which Covid, or monkeypox, or kangaroopox, or any other viral zoonotic disease, or any climate-related or economic development, or aberrant ideological or behavioral tendency, could be used as a pretext to foment another outbreak of mindless mass hysteria and impose additional restrictions on society.
That new ārealityā has been implemented ⦠perhaps not as firmly as originally intended, but implemented nonetheless. We are being conditioned to accept this new āreality,ā as we were conditioned to accept the War on Terror āreality,ā to pointlessly remove our footwear at the airport, place our liquids in travel-size containers, submit to groping by āsecurity staff,ā and otherwise live in a state of constant low-level fear of a āterrorist attack,ā as we are now being conditioned to wear masks where we are told, submit to mandatory āvaccination,ā and live in constant low-level fear of the next purportedly deadly pathogen.
Sadly, most of us will accept this conditioning, and adapt to the āminor inconveniencesā that are being imposed on us at every turn. After all, what difference does it really make if we have to wear a little mask on an airplane, or on public transport, or at the doctorās office? And is it really such a breach of our fundamental rights to freedom of speech, freedom of movement, association, privacy, and basic bodily autonomy if we have to allow governments and global corporations to censor our political opinions, prevent us from traveling, forbid us to protest, and force us to submit to invasive medical treatments in order to hold a job? We got used to taking off our shoes at the airport and watching the āsecurity staffā fondle our kidsā genitals, and invading and bombing other countries and murdering whole families with drones, didnāt we? Surely, weāll get used to this.
Or ⦠OK, I wonāt, and neither will you, probably, but the majority of the masses will. They just demonstrated that pretty clearly, didnāt they? As they demonstrated it during the Global War on Terror. As they demonstrated it during the Cold War. As they demonstrated it ⦠oh, never mind.
Sorry, I really wanted to end this column on a positive note. All right, hereās one! A little good news, finally! According to the professional fact-checkers at Reuters, it turns out āthere is no evidence at all that the World Economic Forumās annual meeting [which is taking place in Davos right now] was scheduled to coincide with these outbreaks of monkeypox,ā and anyone who says there is, or implies there is, or who deviates from or questions the āfacts,ā or the āScience,ā or whatever, is a āmonkeypox-denying, conspiracy-theorizing, anti-vax, Putin-loving disinformationist,ā and so everything is actually hunky-dory, or it will be as soon as we teach those evil Rooskies a little thermonuclear lesson!
I donāt know about you, but thatās a load off my mind. For a moment there, I thought we were in trouble.