A Bridge Too Far

Infrastructure as metaphor

RADIO FAR SIDE

Unless you’ve been sleeping under a bridge, then you’ve heard that a container ship lost power on March 26th, and drifted into a support pylon on the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore harbor, which set off a catastrophic collapse of the bridge, port traffic, and one of the city’s primary commuter routes.

Baltimore was founded by a 1632 charter from Charles I, to Cecil Calvert, Baron Baltimore of Ireland. The name Baltimore comes from the Irish "Baile an Tí Mhóir," meaning “city of the Big House,” and “big house” is a term used by slaves on the plantations for the main residence, or the master’s house. It is also a common slang term for a prison, or similarly to a central or primary government structure.

Wait, it gets better. This event couldn’t be more packed with symbolism if David Lynch had directed the scene.

A Singapore-registered container vessel named “MV Dali” appears to have succumbed to tainted fuel, causing it to lose power and drift helplessly into a primary traffic artery named after the guy who wrote “The Star-Spangled Banner,” causing most of Baltimore’s economic infrastructure to come crashing down. The ship was under control of the Harbor Pilot, which evokes the ancient Greek verb "κυβερνάω" (kybernáō; to pilot, steer a ship), which is the root of the English verb “to govern”. Oh, and let’s not forget the current resident of the Big House claimed that he commuted over the bridge many times by train, which conspicuously has no rails and never did. And did I mention that the bridge was being maintained by illegal invaders who probably didn’t understand the urgent warning to clear the bridge?

This event is so choked with meaning I may have to withdraw for a time to grok it all. Universe is talking to us here.

In a surreal event, an Asian vessel, registered in a former British colony, using “green” biodiesel loses power, takes out most of the Big House’s economic capacity in another former British colony, causing the collapse of the administration led by a senile serial liar, whose policies are causing national economic collapse, during the reign of Charles III, whose ancestor and namesake created Baltimore with the stroke of a pen.

Did I miss anything?

It never ceases to amaze me how Universe communicates with us, which in a sense is us talking to ourselves.

There are a number of identified issues with biodiesel, which is the Bumbledicks’ preferred bunker fuel for shipping these days. Condensed water in the fuel leads to growth of bacteria and molds, which in turn lead to residues that foul valves, pistons and fuel lines in the massive engines used to power the big cargo ships. Chalk one up for the Bumbledick Greenies.

Mandates for “green” fuels do not consider the relative immaturity of the technology. Regular diesel is a tried and tested fuel that is relatively safe with more than a century of experience behind it. When mandating new types of fuels, the risk of catastrophic failures dramatically increases, due to lack of operating experience and new parameters for storage and use, especially in a global environment where multiple regulatory systems exist side-by-side, with lax oversight in some regions a common issue.

When we are talking about a vessel that is three football fields long and has a deadweight tonnage rating (fully loaded) of 117,000 tonnes, with a single engine. We probably don’t want to monkey around with the power plant.

The impact force of a fully-loaded ship this size (force = mass x acceleration) moving at just 2 knots/hour (about 4 kph) is 120 meganeutons. Since I don’t know the area of the impact site, I can’t tell you what that works out to be in kilos/cm, but suffice to say, it’s a hell of a lot.

Furthermore, assuming a velocity of 4 knots/hour and a fully loaded vessel with no power, we’re talking about a stopping distance well over a kilometer. So, with the force and momentum we are discussing here, using water friction alone, nothing is going to stop that ship, but patience, a continent, or an Act of God.

We know the Key Bridge is nearly 50 years old, and is a steel structure in a salt water environment. We also know Baltimore is run by a gaggle of Bumbledicks, whose priorities are DEI (Didn’t Earn It), greenery and feelings, so it’s a good bet there’s been precious little attention to things like, oh I don’t know, infrastructure, safety and simple economics. Add to that the fact that bridge maintenance was being performed by non-skilled illegal invaders hired to save money and provide “good feelings”.

The ship was towed away from the dock by tug boats that in any reasonable port facility would have escorted the ship to open water. However, in order to save money, the shipping company decided to go out under steam, leaving no safety backup should something happen like, oh I don’t know, loss of power?

Maersk, the company leasing the ship, are very concerned about Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI). Grace Ocean Pte. Ltd, the company that owns the ship, are very concerned about DEI. Synergy Marine Group, the company that manages the ship, are very concerned about DEI. The Port of Baltimore is very concerned with DEI. None of them seem all that worried about professionalism, expertise and merit.

Joe Biden immediately promised to pay for bridge replacement, despite his having already broken the bank with the Ukraine and Israel “aid,” while his administration is spending well over what it takes in with tax revenues, and the government supporting 30 million employees, many of whom are solely focused on DEI, greenery and feelings. The employment rolls includes Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg, whose responsibilities include, oh I don’t know, critical transportation infrastructure and safety. One supposes he was busy man-milking his spawn instead of attending to his public service responsibilities, assuming he has even the slightest clue about complex transportation systems.

Societal collapse is rarely predicated on a single event, though a single event may catalyze the collapse.. Rather, it is the culmination of many systemic factors as a function of complexity. Mismanagement, malfeasance and external factors, such as war and natural disasters, accumulate over time, until a simple push sends the whole structure tumbling down, much like the Key Bridge.

It’s too early yet to know what the short- and long-term effects will be of the Key Bridge collapse. The “MV Dali” will have to be decommissioned for a time, and its cargo offloaded and sent on its way to Sri Lanka. The investigation itself will likely take years to work out the chain of events that led to the incident, and then more years for the lawyers to assign percentages of culpability, which will allow the insurance companies to divvy up payouts. The clean up will take months, and constructing a new bridge will take a decade or more.

Speaking of clean up, the crane barge brought in to clear the debris was commissioned by the Pentagon and CIA in the 1960s, to salvage a sunken Soviet submarine, but that’s a tale for another time.

The Port of Baltimore is one of the busiest in North America, and is known for the volume of cars that ship into and out of it. This is yet another one of the curious symbols involved in this incident, since EV cars are one of the primary talking points of the Bumbledicks. And while we’re trolling the Bumbledicks, just think of all the carbon that will be released in cleaning up and rebuilding the bridge.

Oh yes, and an interesting eensie-weensie data point lurking in the shadows: the wreckage of the bridge has trapped two US rapid-response wartime cargo ships. Not to worry! Probably just some huge random coincidence that means nuttin’ to no one.

In any case, we can be sure that the economic tidal wave from this incident will propagate for a long time, and those of us who look for messages from Universe will have plenty of gristle to chew on.

Perhaps it’s time to get rid of DEI and ESG and the piles of reeking Bumbledickery that caused this situation, and get back to funding maintenance of infrastructure, hiring qualified people, and using plain old gas and diesel.

Source: Radio Far Side