Go Away, We're Batin!

[Jeff Koons’ “Jeff and Ilona” (Made in Heaven), 1990]

Democratic Susanna Gibson is a candidate for the Virginia House of Delegates. A 40-year-old nurse, she’s married, with two children. Calling herself “hotwifeexperience,” Gibson has 5,700 followers on Chaturbate, a porn site featuring amateurs who strip, spread, masturbate or even have sex for tips. Choosing women, men, couples or trans, most viewers just watch for free.

With her lawyer husband, Gibson performed on Chaturbate, to raise money “for a good cause,” which is true enough. It’s super expensive to secure a political office in America. Since you must sell your soul, why not pitch your ass, especially if it’s hot? Regrettably, Hillary Clinton or Elizabeth Warren doesn’t have this option, but who knows. Every body has admirers, if only ocularly, from several time zones away. Perhaps Mitch McConnell can give Chaturbate a try?

In Idiocracy, there’s a scene of Frito sitting in the dark, watching “The Masturbation Network, keeping America bating for 300 years.” Hearing knocks on his door, Frito growls, “Go away, I’m batin.”

Should she rise in politics, there’s no reason for Gibson to give up her “hotwifeexperience” side gig. As President, say, in 2033, Gibson can lead this collapsed nation while keeping Americans bating away. Dwelling in tents or under bridges, freezing citizens can pleasure themselves as they stare at 50-year-old Susanna on their battered Huawei with its spider web cracks. Sadly, climax always comes too soon.

In 1987, porn star Cicciolina, running as a libertarian, was elected to the Italian Parliament. Born Ilona Staller in Hungary, she’s best known for a series of x-rated photos and sculptures, “Made in Heaven,” showing her with her American husband, the much celebrated artist Jeff Koons.

Cicciolina used her porn fame to gain office. Gibson must up her game. Instead, she has become defensive:

This is an illegal invasion of my privacy designed to humiliate me and my family. It won’t intimidate me and it won’t silence me.
My political opponents and their Republican allies have proven they’re willing to commit a sex crime to attack me and my family because there’s no line they won’t cross to silence women when they speak up. They are trying to silence me because they want to silence you, and I won’t let that happen.
My opponent and his allies know that the people of this district are on our side on the issues, so they’re stooping to the worst gutter politics. There’s too much at stake in this election and I’ll never stop fighting for our community.

After showing it all, Gibson is somehow humiliated by millions more appreciating her hind parts. Stop being so defensive. We want more of your gutter!

Though America has made awesome gains on the woke, progressive front, it still has a way to go. Ukraine doesn’t just have a president who once played the piano with his penis, but a transsexual spokesman, Sarah Ashton-Cirillo.

After taking feminizing hormones at age 41, Ashton finally transitioned a year later, in May of 2019. He would have killed himself otherwise, she said. True to the inverted, perverted West, castration is now called “gender-affirming surgery.”

Though “unapologetically left-leaning,” Ashton-Cirillo grew to “hate Russia” after reading about the Soviet Union. After Russia invaded Ukraine in February of 2022, she moved to Zolochiv.

On 4/18/22, Ashton-Cirillo tweeted:

Incredible news from Kharkiv!
Reports are that Chilean Russian spy @realGonzaloLira has been captured in #Kharkiv (Kharkov).
He is (allegedly) a Russian saboteur posing as a “journalist”, to destroy #Ukraine️.
Congrats to Ukrainian security services.
#StandWithUkraine

A Chilean Russian spy would not be posting YouTube videos, so thinking is not her forte. In February of 2023, Ashton-Cirillo was wounded in Donbas while serving as a combat medic for the 113th Kharkiv Defense Brigade. Exposing herself to bullets, drones and missiles, this lady does have balls. You must give her that.

Her weak brain, though, inclines her to vapid bombast. On 8/4/23, she said:

This is Sergeant Sarah Ashton Cerillo of the Armed Forces of Ukraine, and you’re watching episode 14 of Russia Hates the Truth, a public service announcement focused on countering Russian propaganda, disinformation, and lies, while bringing you the truth about Ukraine’s war for liberty, direct from Kyiv. Russia hates the truth that over the weekend, multiple successful strikes by Ukraine against the Moscow regime on Russian territory meant that President Zelensky’s words about the war returning to Russia weren’t just a promise, but a prophecy that has already come to pass. In the same way the soldiers of the Russian armed forces are left to die on Ukrainian land, Putin’s cabal of war criminals and terrorists are incapable of protecting the critical infrastructure and defense industry of the failing Russian state. The reality is simple, Russia is defenseless, especially at home.

Even as Ukraine is falling apart and running out of soldiers, with refugees forced back to die for an unspeakably corrupt regime, Ashton-Cirillo declares that Russia is defenseless! If she turns out a prophetess, then I’m the idiot. We’ll see.

With no knowledge or memory of war, many Americans actually think there’s no fighting in Ukraine. Others claim those fleeing conscription are not war refugees. If death, injuries or economic ruination from a conflict is highly likely, many people will run, and Americans, too, when it’s their turn. Even without bullets flying, they’re already ducking. That’s why their country is being flushed down the shit hole.

How bad is it? After my last article, JustPlainBill commented:

Even our modest California burg tucked in here on the coast hours away from major population centers has its cast of desperates. They are all camped out next to the highway along a drainage ditch that runs along the right-of-way. This is one relatively recent feature of the new America. It used to be necessary to drive into the seedier commercial districts near the city center to survey this part of the population. Nowadays you don’t even have to leave the freeway. If you are anywhere near a populated area, you can see these campgrounds in every right-of-way and under every overpass.

Melancholicus observed, “I think it’s funny how conservatives will say the US is OK as long as you stay away from the cities. Yup, my country is totally fine, just don’t go near civilization! The new American dream is to escape the cities and live in the woods.”

Running for the hills, they’re internal refugees, but who can blame them? There’s no organized resistance. Lone gun slingers, though, will be zapped in a blink, by soldiers or urban raiders. Just look at what has happened in South Africa.

For now, most serene are those bating inside bubbles and cocoons. Far from all that, I’m surrounded by those genuinely at peace with themselves and their neighbors. After +6 months in Laos, I’ve yet to hear anyone shout in anger. How is that possible?